Red Shoes? ...They Look More Fuchsia Or Magenta To Me.

10 Things I Learned After Watching Red Shoes, 분홍신 (Boon-hong-sin):

1. Red shoes makes you confident and put hooker makeup on. Which is exactly why I wear red vans.

2. Other women will kill for your red shoes. They'll also chop your legs off with a shovel for them.

3. Korean horrors always includes the decrepit, long-haired Asian school girl. You know what I'm talking about, The Ring.

4. Blame the Japanese. The occupying nation always looks bad in hindsight.

5. When you start scaring the creepy, hysterical hermit who lives in the basement, it's time to lose the shoes. Burn them. Bury them. Chop them up. Weigh them and throw them in the river. Put them in a box and FedEx them to that coworker you dislike. Whatever you do, the shoes need to go, ASAP.

6. Even though Seoul is a heavily populated city, there's never more than two people at the subway in the evening. I don't know how accurate this is. I've seen YouTube videos.

7. Possessed shoes do not have a particular size. Anyone can put them on and it'll be a sure fit. Your seven year old daughter, your overweight best friend, the Pro-Japanese Party's daughter, anyone.

8. Kim Sung-soo (Full House) is extremely handsome. Ok. Ok. So I already knew this from watching him previously in Full House. I just wanted to mention him somewhere in this list.

9. A severed leg will twitch. Odd.

10. Never pick up and take home cursed high healed shoes. No matter how pretty they look. Oh crap, I found these awesome nerdy glasses at the theatre. Maybe, I should put them back...

Grade: C+

Check out this movie on yellowcinema.com.